PUBLISHED September 21, 2011

September 21st, Monday: Before Bed

Four things I have to get to:

1. Best looking before shower

2. Best thoughts while brushing teeth

3. Religion

4. Blessings

5. Dad

…Okay that was five. Forgive me, its late, I’m high (ish). Its well past when I should be attempting to fall asleep to get enough hours to not want to put a stake through my head due to tiredness tomorrow. Which, for future reference is 1:03 AM and I have to get up at 8:30. I suppose I don’t HAVE to get up at 8:30…But my first class is at 10 and I honestly need over an hour in the mornings. I am NOT the roll out of bed and go type. I need eggs and a flatiron before setting foot out of the door.

Onwards! So I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror butt naked about to get in the shower because I felt icky and gross and schmugly when I looked at myself and thought, ‘Wow…why did I feel so icky and gross and schmugly…I look GREAT.’ And I realized I often have this thought before stepping foot in the shower. I always feel like I look my best right before I’m about to wash it all away. I don’t know what it is.

Which brings me to my next thought. I always have the best thoughts when I’m brushing my teeth. I thought of the first three thoughts on the thought list whilst brushing my teeth just now. Must be something about the combination of eye contact with yourself and the fluoride. Aside from my own best friend’s toilet, which, for some reason, was the place of genius ideas, its always standing in front of the sink brushing my teeth that my brilliance strikes.

Which is when I thought up number three on the list. I’m usually one to take a strong stance against religion. I’m not even one of those more lenient anti-relgion liberals who say, “Well I’m all for religion in the way that it helps people, you know finding faith in hard times ect., ect., just not in the political way. But in the other way I think its fine.” I generally don’t find a need for religion in the slightest. But thats also just me. I find that it gets in the way of people making themselves make sense. As I was brushing my teeth, however, I realized maybe religion does make some people just better people. Maybe religion does serve to teach you basic morals and values that in turn make someone…well, just more good-er. A girl I know came to mind. She is very “Catholic” and I use those apostrophes intentionally. To her credit, she is an incredibly giving person. She is thoughtful and self-less in many situations. She thinks about others all the time and I don’t see how she has brain space for all her own shit AND remembering and caring about the lives of so many other people. Its as if she lives the “Love thy neighbor as thyself,” parable every damn day. If only she could carry that same saintly attitude into her close friendships the outcome of recent situations may have been different. But then again, thats why I used the quotes.

Carrying the same Christly attitude from the shower to my room with me, I stared at my little magnet board on the back of my door with pictures of my family, friends and boyfriend. There’s an old photo of just my mom and I when I was only a baby. She has a total nineties look about her and I have a totally “I don’t know what anything is” look about me. Theres also a photo of my siblings with my dad when we were only toddlers, one of my two best friends and I at junior prom, another with my whole group of girlfriends from High School and a photo booth strip of Malcolm and I. I was just standing there staring at all the incredible people in my life. Truly incredible. I wouldn’t change a thing about any of them and as I looked from their faces to mine I could feel each person’s deep impression on my life.

So that was a little deep. I’m going to skip the thought about my dad because I haven’t lived enough years to know how to talk about him in a way that pays him justice yet.

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