PUBLISHED June 2, 2014

Advice Post: Heartbroken

Do you have any advice for a broken-hearted, 22 year old girl who feels like she has lost herself? I ask you as I’ve been so inspired by you for a while, I feel like your the go-to-guru. Thanks Nomi x

Oh-man. Heart broken, eh? First, obtain and read Virginia Woolf’s A Room of One’s Own. When I got broken up with (er…our “break” was initiated) I took a bubble bath, sobbed, read that book, and felt like I had finally been given back to myself.

Lost yourself? No chance in hell. Heart break is liberating. It pushes you down to your depths, forces you to re-learn yourself. It takes away your source of comfort so that you must become everything you need for yourself. Pain is good for us. It’s healthy. Humans need to hurt. It’s how we understand the world around us. When I first got my heart broken, and then fell in love again, I learned that love (and heart break) are not unique. We can fall in love as many times as we allow ourselves in one lifetime.

Love is beautiful, but it becomes confused with need. You’re twenty-two, this is the hottest time of your life. Fucking go enjoy it. Enjoy the process of learning who you are (hint: I don’t think we ever really figure it out).

Content text