PUBLISHED August 29, 2012

Advice Question: Marriage

How long in to a relationship does marriage become a real consideration? I enjoy having a partner but I don’t think that I would ever marry them. Does this mean we have to break up or can this continue as what it is?

I don’t ever think of marriage to be honest. I have never used it as a deciding factor for being involved with a guy. Granted, I’ve never willingly entered into an exclusive relationship. They kind of just…happen. Thing is, when people think of marriage, and what their criteria for marriage is, it generally boils down to economic factors, how well they get along/don’t get along with your family, their religion, whether or not they want kids, and a whole host of other things that have absolutely NOTHING to do with the actual person and the connection you share. I think people enter into marriages sometimes because their spouse-to-be fits their “list.” Their little check list of happily-ever-after.

Now is the best time to say that 40% of marriages end in divorce. I have never met a happily married couple in my whole 21 years of living. Maybe two. And they were hippies so they probably would be happy regardless.

Why is it that you say you wouldn’t marry this person who makes you happy? Look at those reasons. Maybe they are things you two can work out. Maybe they are things that truly don’t matter. We must understand that if we try to stick to the image of perfect we’ve created in our heads for what our futures will be, we’ll miss out on a whole hell of a lot that can take us by surprise and change the whole game plan.

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