PUBLISHED July 28, 2012

January 16th 2010: Embrace

After a months absence I return again to room 114 of Johnson Hall. Yes, I am ashamed that this is the first page of a journal yet second semester of college. I already started a college journal but can’t seem to find it. Currently, my room is sweltering to the degree that I can feel my pores enlarging and my roommate is snoring catty-cornered to me. Aah, college life. I still find it hard to believe that I’m actually here. Or that my life as it is now is actually college…that may not make sense.

After settling into my life back home I resisted the idea of coming back to school, but after seeing all my friends I felt at peace again. I was developing feelings of being really lonely at school. I didn’t feel like I had that many friends, or good ones at least, and made the decision to try and change that. I feel as though my strong relationships with my actual best friends makes me feel as though I don’t need to grow any strong friendships here. But I want that to change.

I made some grown up people resolutions on New Years! (How I can remember a damn thing about that night is astonishing. Drunkest I’ve ever been, most I’ve ever puked. Good night.)

The first is to keep in touch with people better; a quality I lack and attribute to my mother. The second is to stop being a man-eating whore. Not joking. I realized that guys who I want to be just friends with always develop stronger feelings for me and end up really spiteful towards me when the feeling is not mutual. I suppose I have to, finally (at least for a little while) acknowledge and accept that boys have feelings. Ugh. SO I have decided to date like a grown-up. One person at a time.

But, I’m off to read and get a good nights sleep before my first day of classes tomorrow! Let the games begin. *

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